Opening Doors

Doors are opening in unexpected places in Austin, connections are being made...I feel like things are moving along. And not quite in a direction I expected, but it is so good!!!

I'm not going to share anything specific, because I can't yet. But I would appreciate prayer for open doors, for me to know which ones to walk through (discernment), and connections of God to be made!!!

It's exciting. :)

God is doing something...

So, it is no surprise to me (or probably to you reading this either) that God is doing something big. He is doing something so huge in this world that it blows me away!

Many, many things are going on all over the world which I believe is proof of His movement. The "Florida Revival's" and the "Passion World Tour", just to name 2. Amazing.

And up here in Maine, I believe God is doing something too! At least, I feel it happening in my life.

As I mentioned 2 posts down, I was asked to lead worship at my grandparents church this past weekend. I have to be honest, and say that even though I was glad to do it. I wasn't necessarily looking forward to the experience. I wasn't dreading it either, I was just looking forward to it being done with. Mostly because the past 2 weeks have been crazy busy for me, and I really just needed a break. Just an hour to myself was all I needed, but hadn't had it in a long time.

So, I prepared an hour worth of material. 9 songs, plus a children's sermon that my co-worker who is a Priest, taught me.

I showed up at the church, to find out that the children had more planned than I had been told, and that I only needed to do about 20 minutes worth of music. This was a bit of a relief if I'm being honest. I mean, it is too bad that I prepared an hour worth of stuff, only to do 20 minutes. But it was just fine. I would rather be over prepared, than under prepared. It was nice to be able to prove to myself that I am capable of providing an hour worth of worship music--since I have never done this all by myself before!

So, I picked out 5 songs, plus a song to do during the offering. The church was so humid that I had to re-tune my guitar in between every song. Plus, the guitar had new strings on it, which didn't really help. But it wouldn't have mattered either way.

I got up there to my stool, and just felt so incredibly at home. Sitting there, with my guitar, microphone over my ear. I have never been so at ease before. And I haven't been nervous in a long time singing in front of a crowd, but this was new, with my guitar. I still felt completely at ease. I just started talking to congregation while I tuned my guitar. I decided to start off the service with Chris Tomlin's version of Amazing Grace. Since this church is not all that familiar with modern worship music, I figured this would be a good way to ease them in--something they know, but a modern version of it. I explained the story of how the song came about. How when Chris researched it, he found that the last verse we currently sing "When we've been there 10 thousand years" was actually added to the song 100 years after it was written, and from that moment on he knew he could add a little something to the song too. And the congregation laughed, they obviously enjoyed the fact that I knew the story behind that song, and wasn't just pushing a new song on them.

Anyway, I did the other 4 songs I chose, talked in between each one, just trying to connect with the congregation as best as I could. And they actually sang along! (I had brought words for the projector)

Afterwards, a lot of people thanked me for taking the time to be there. A few told me that they believed that God has given me a gift for leading music (which I was not expecting to hear), someone told my grandmother than I was 'charming' and 'personable' on stage (also not what I was expecting to hear, but what a compliment!), and I recieved an email from a congregant thanking me again for coming and told me that God has certainly blessed me with an ability to lead music. I just have been blown away by these people. I even sold 2 CD's (which I did not even have with me) She happened to ask me if I had any CD's, and I thought for a moment and went "Actually I do". So that paid for my gas money up and back (with the price of gas, any little bit is helpful)

So anyway, this experience has brought up a few thoughts in my mind. Where exactly is God placing me in ministry? I still don't know the answer, and just have more ideas now than ever.

My grandmother has told me before, that she believed I was missing a calling in leading worship, maybe she was right?? This weekend certainly showed me that I love doing it, much to my surprise. I mean, I have a lot to learn about how to lead worship, but I would think that a willing heart, and sensitive spirit is all you need to begin.

I love the idea of helping churches, who need the help to move into more modern worship. Churches who need younger people to get involved, and therefore need to update at least some of their music. Don't get me wrong, I love hymns, and I love churches that have a balance between hymns and modern music. But so many churches are afraid of modern worship music. I could see myself going from church to church, spending a few weeks in each one. Teaching them music, and getting them comfortable with the idea of guitars and such. Paving the way for a worship team to take over. Even training a worship team. What a job that would be!

I also love the idea of traveling. Just let me travel. I would make a fantastic Road Manager (the person who books hotels, flights, buses, venues, etc) for a group or company of some sort. In fact, my brother wants to hire me for a venture he is currently working on in exaclty that role. However it is a ways off still--so in the meantime I need to continue to follow my own path.

I also feel very strongly about ministering specifically to young women (and even some older women) I have talked about that topic a lot on this blog. Specifically about femininity, and the importance of that. You can see those posts here.

So, I know God has placed these desires and visions on my heart for a purpose. And I'm sure that somehow, they'll all get blended together. I just can't see how yet. And that is okay. I will see it when He wants me to see it. In the meantime, I am just trying to walk through doors faithfully as He opens them for me.

Austin is only 3 weeks away, and I'm praying for doors to open there if they are meant to. Like the last time I went down there, I just believe that I will be placed in the exact places I am supposed to be. I can't wait to go! Yes, it is hot I am told...I keep having customers call, who happen to live in Austin. But, everything indoors is air conditioned. And I figure, visiting Texas in July, is probably like visiting Maine in February. It isn't a bad idea for me to see it at its worst!!! :)

The next Austin installment

So, I am heading back down to Austin on July 4th for 9 days!!!  I am so excited to go.

And the most exciting thing?  Is that The Lord just keeps opening doors for me down there!

I won't go into all the gritty details, but He has provided a place for me to stay (with a lady that I met the last time I was down there), and has connected me with new people already who I will be meeting when I go down, including a Mary Kay Director whose Sales Meeting I'll be attending.

I'll finally be connecting with Paul Vick in person, and meeting his wife too.  And who knows what else will come together in the next 51 days before I leave (yes, I know how many days until I go) :)

My friend Jen, who is planning to move there with me is likely visiting with me in July, at least for part of it.  So I'm really excited about that too!  God is so good, and He provides everything that we need, and He paves the way--all we have to do is walk on His path.

Leading worship

So, I have a new venture upon me.


I will be leading worship at my Grandparents church in Fairfield, ALL BY MYSELF! This is a new thing for me, and I'm pretty excited about it!


Not only that, but it is Children's Sunday, which is even better since I directed the Children's Choir at my church in Massachusetts for 2 years, and led the Children's Worship. So my head is full of kids worship songs, and kid-friendly songs.


Plus, this church doesn't really know ANY of the popular worship songs. Most of them don't even know who Chris Tomlin is I'm sure. So I plan to teach them some songs too.


Then, I got an email from my Aunt the other day who also attends that church, and she informed me that not only am I leading worship when I go, but I AM the service that day. Yup, the entire service is mine...and she said I can do whatever I want. I can do kids songs, worship songs, perform some songs, preach, anything I want. And she's totaly serious. So...this should be interesting.


I plan to do some kids songs, and some worship songs. I really want to teach them all songs they can enjoy--that is my goal. To get them comfortable with modern worship songs.


I thought I would share this too. Some of my friends on Worship Frequency discovered this website which we can share our own music on! So far I only have one song up, but I'm working on more. (It'll probably take me some time to get them up though)

(if there is no 'play' button, then click on "01 Kate Libby - I Love You Lord" and the song will play)

Now playing: Kate Libby

Worship as a way of life

It is impressed upon me more and more, that worship as a way of life (in our day to day lives) is oh so important.  It isn't like I didn't know this previously, but I feel as though I am being prodded and reminded of it more and more.  Which leads me to believe that I myself need to become more conscious of this.  What does this mean exactly?  I'm not quite sure.  But I would think that it requires first of all that you give up your own earthly desires and inclinations.  It requires that you probably will have to do things that aren't necessarily in your own plans.  What am I talking about?

Well, it was announced the other day that Chris Tomlin and band may be moving to Atlanta to plant a new church (A Passion Church possibly?) with Louie Giglio.  The comments from people at The Stone (Chris's church) say that Chris did not necessarily seem happy about this idea of moving to Atlanta.  That his comment about it was that he does not like the idea of living in Atlanta and likes being in Austin, but that he was trying to follow God's leading.  Wow!  Talk about living a life of faith!  Being willing to go to a place that you have no desire to go, is huge. 

I mean, here I am, planning a move to Austin--which is a place I WANT to go, I desire to go there, and here is this guy who is telling The Lord that he is willing to go to a place he has no desire to live.  Talk about giving up your life for The Lord.  Now, nothing is set in stone yet--they aren't going for sure.  They have put their houses on the market and are going to see if they sell and go from there.  The housing market is amazing in Austin, and houses usually go pretty fast--so we'll see what happens.

A calming

So, today was the first Sunday in a few weeks that I was around to go to my own church.  The past few weeks I've either been out of town, or at another church for one reason or another.  It was so nice to be in my own church today.

This weekend was the weekend of Passion::Atlanta. (I know the guy in the black and white photo-crouched over his bible!)  I had quite a few friends who went--and I so wanted to be there!  But, it just wasn't meant for me to go, which is okay.  I was meant to be in my church service this morning.  I'm not sure if it is the reason why I didn't go to Atlanta, but I was definitely meant to hear this message today.

The past 24 hours I have been feeling unsettled about something in my life.  Something that I wasn't feeling unsettled about before.  So it has been a bit of a shock to my system.  Going to my church today was just the calming I needed.

Separately, I believe I received a confirmation on moving to Austin--and pursuing ministry.  (This is not what I was feeling unsettled about)  But the sermon was about the calling of Moses to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt.  And my Pastor said something that caught my attention.  He was talking about how Moses was not sure about going, and kept questioning God, when God just said go.  And Pastor Scott made a statement, which I don't remember exactly.  But the general idea was, "If you are being called to go, you go, you don't ask questions"  That isn't what he said specifically...but it is what I heard loud and clear.

And it isn't that I was questioning moving.  I haven't at all.  I have been praying for confirmation that I am to go--I am planning a visit back to Austin in July--and figured the confirmation might come while I'm down there.  But I think I might have received it today instead.  

So now, when am I going to go?  That I am not sure of yet.  Maybe after Christmas sometime?  I'm unsure of the timing.  But I am going to move forward with this, and see if The Lord opens doors, or closes them.  It's the only way I know how to do things.

On a side note--I found out last week that a high school classmate of mine, who currently lives here in Freeport, is also moving to Austin.  But he's going in September.  So...it will be nice to have someone down there already that I know pretty well.  I have to admit, it is a safe feeling to have someone you already know in a strange place.  Yes, I met others while I was there in February...who have since become friends (I'm staying with the couple that I met when I go down in July!).  But I'm still getting to know them.  I know I can trust them--but this guy I have known for like 13 or so years.  So, it's a little different and comforting in a way.

But anyway, I'm excited about this!

Teen Missions on TV!!

Teen Missions is going to have a 1 hour documentary on CBS on Saturday night (April 12). It is at 8pm EST. If you aren't on Eastern time, then check your local listings. But I hope everyone can watch this! And tell your friends!!

If you don't know, I spent 5 summers in a row with this organization, and I would love to go back. It changed my life.

It's coming together!

So, this ministry at church, with the 20-somethings, is coming together. Last week we had a dinner, and this week we met normally again, working with the video's that we've been working with. It is really fun to see it coming all together, especially as we get to know each other better and better.

Last night we outlined our "Ground Rules" and I think they're pretty great.

• Begin and end on time
• Confidentiality
• Call when you can't come
• Bring up issues or dissatisfaction right away
• No interrupting, or carrying on separate conversations
• Do any confrontations individually, not in front of the group
• No gossiping in prayer
• No grudges, come with a pure heart, and clean spirit towards everyone else
• start and end with prayer
• get prayer requests and foster an environment where people feel comfortable sharing

I am in charge of communications. I wasn't appointed there, but naturally fell into that position. It's a good place for me.

There are a lot of things on my heart right now regarding 'ministry' and my place in it. I'm not sure how to verbalize it all right now. But I know that God is working it out, and is placing me right where He wants me. I feel like I am right where I am supposed to be at this moment.

I am still feeling called to move to another place, Austin is still at the top of the list. The timing is uncertain, nothing is set in stone, but that desire has not gone away. But it is nice to know, that for now, right where I am in Maine, I am still being used.

I feel like this is all in preparation of the top being blown off. Do you know what I mean? Like this is a glimpse into a much larger picture which I am to be a part of. Obviously I'm not sure exactly what that is, but that is how I view this. Like, this is my training in a way.

Discernment

Do you pray for discernment in your decision making, and day to day life?

I sure do. I pray for it all the time. Discernment in speaking the right words, making the right decisions, particularly when I am conversing with other people.

There is nothing that upsets me more than to be misunderstood. And I don't mean upset as in angry, I mean upset as in saddened and hurt. Because, although I don't always succeed, I strive to put a lot of thought into every communication that I have with others, and to be intentional in what I say. Particularly in writing, and it can be very hurtful to have it all thrown aside for a mere misunderstanding.

I believe that, since we are emotional beings (particularly us female kind of humans), that we are prone to making snap decisions based on how we feel in the moment. I am certainly guilty of that. And because of this fact (I do not like to be, or admit that I am an emotional person) I pray for discernment instead. That instead of making a decision based on how I feel, that I would make the decision based on the leading of the Spirit and of Jesus--which more often than I would like to admit, goes against what I am feeling at that moment. But always ends up being the right thing in the end, and I always feel good about what I've said when I've filtered out my feelings. And when I don't, I find I'm regretful of what I wrote or said.

I feel like people (in general) are too quick to respond, particularly under an emotional charged situation. Yes it is life, and just how human beings are, but I would encourage you to train yourself to pray, swallow and take a deep breath before responding emotionally to anything...that's all I'm saying here.

What does this have to do with ministry? LOTS!! 95% (or perhaps more) of your ministry is going to be perceived through your communication with others, and your ability to do so well. It doesn't matter if your ministry IS communication based or not...that is still how people will take in information about you. So therefore, when you are in ministry, or even when you just want your day to day life to be a ministry, it is vital to be praying for discernment in communication with others.

An interesting exercise

So, on a worship website that I am a member of, we have been talking through (just for fun) what we wanted to be when we grew up. As a result, a few of us (and I'm sure more will) have written out in more detail the changes and progressions in what we wanted to be.

And through that--I realized that there are quite a few consistencies which I had never realized before. Especially regarding music. It's just kind of fun to see it all written out. So I thought I would share it here too...

-----------------------------------------
Okay--so I don't keep repeating myself...I ALWAYS wanted to be a mom (and to this day)...so I won't write it every time--but you can insert it yourself in every single line.

• When I was in Kindergarten, I wanted to be 2 things 1. A mom 2. A car washer (remember the days when all gas stations were full serve, and they'd squeegee your windshield? That's who I wanted to be) lol!
• In 2nd grade, I wanted to be Young Cosette in Les Miserables. I knew her entire part by heart.
• In 4th grade, I wanted to be on that show "Star Search" Oh gosh I loved that show...
• In 8th grade, I wanted to be an OBGYN Nurse (because it would mean I'd get to be with the babies in the hospital!) but soon after I realized that you actually had to like science in order to become a nurse. And I have since realized that I did not miss my calling in the medical profession (since I get queasy with disfigurement and that sort of thing...) yuk. I actually fainted once when a friend of mine broke her nose (and when I broke my nose, my friend who took me to the hospital wouldn't let me look in the mirror...she was afraid I'd faint on her. LOL!)
• In 9th grade, I wanted to be a professional singer. (and changed my mind to wanting to be Eponine in Les Mis instead--since I'm an alto..lol)
• In 11th grade, I realized that there wasn't anything I wanted to do that school could help me with (I just wanted to be a stay at home mom!) So I wasn't really sure what to do with myself...but kept on going (and had every intention of going to college anyway) and when people would ask me what I wanted to be, I'd make stuff up...because I didn't want people to know that I only wanted to be a stay at home mom (at the time, women all had careers for the most part...so it wasn't cool to want to stay home)
• In college, I wanted to go on Staff at Teen Missions International. I almost dropped out of college to do so...but then thought better of it.
• And in college...I still struggled with a 'profession' I just didn't feel called to any profession. It was really hard. My major finally 'clicked' for me the second semester of my senior year. Talk about cutting it close right?
• And then post college--I discovered Mary Kay, and realized that was the sort of 'profession' that I wanted, and have loved it ever since.
• And now? Well, Mary Kay of course. Still want to be a stay at home mom someday. And a desire to be a musician's wife. Not necessarily a professional musicians wife...but that would be okay too.
• Oh--and I still would love to be Eponine...but the show isn't running anymore Sadly...

So, to add a little more about Teen Missions.

• I went twice as a team member (when I was 16 and 17), and it really opened my eyes to missions work and the importance of that. And it honestly captured my heart.
• Even more so when I became a leader. I led 3 peanut teams (who are 7-9 year olds) and one teen team. I just loved connecting with the kids, and taking care of them.
• I really thought I was supposed to go on staff at Teen Missions, but no.
• But to this day, there is a huge place in my heart for organizations like this, which ushers teenagers (and younger) into spreading the Gospel. My children will absolutely be doing something like this at least once in their lives. It changed my entire world. It made my faith real to me, and personal to me. Having grown up in a christian home (which I am forever thankful for) I never had a 'before' and 'after'. So I needed something to make my faith personal, and this did it.
• So, while I don't think I'm currently called to go on staff on Teen Missions, or to be a full time missionary, I certainly will always feel connected to organizations like this, and hope to volunteer with them again someday.
• This is why, when I attended Passion::Boston, it immediately re-lit the fire in my heart that Teen Missions had started, for serving students and teaching them to go out into the world. I believe that is where my calling is in missions. To enable others, and encourage others.