Women in Leadership

So--what about women in leadership?  Well, I think women make fantastic leaders.  Some of the best leaders I know are women.

Women can be teachers, bible study leaders, ordained as pastors, deacons, heads of corporations...but I do think there is a stopping point at which women should be in leadership.  Now, DO NOT misunderstand what I'm saying.  Let me explain.

The Bible states very clearly that man is the head of the household.  I believe that a 'household' not only applies to just that, but also to churches, and COUNTRIES!  Don't you think that the United States is quite a 'household'?  Which is where I have a problem with Hilary Clinton.  It wouldn't matter if it were her, or any other woman.  I do not think that President of the United States is meant for a woman.  This is not meant to be offensive to my gender in any way.  Don't you think that First Lady is quite a position to hold?  The First Lady is the most powerful, and (hopefully) most respected woman at least in the entire country, possibly in the entire world.  First Lady is feminine, and strong, and smart, and loved the world around.  I'd say that is quite the position to hold, wouldn't you?  But obviously it wasn't enough for her, which I think is just too bad.  I'm not going to rant about Hilary, it is just disappointing to me that First Lady wasn't enough for her.  

I do not have any issue with her being a Senator, or holding any other political position she wishes (short of the Presidency)-why can't she just have aspirations of being a Supreme Court Judge?  I may not agree with her views, but I do not have issue with the office she currently holds.  Or with the fact that she was First Lady.  But President is going too far.  Even Condoleezza Rice I think is fine in the position she holds!

I feel the same way about churches.  I do not think that a woman should be the head pastor in a church.  Women can be children's pastors, worship leaders, even associate pastors and deacons, but I get worried when I hear that a woman is the head pastor in a church.  I do not say any of this to offend anyone--I'm just stating my opinion.  Women are known to make decisions based on emotions, whereas men tend to make them a little more practically (and this is coming from a very practical woman!)

Anyway--I just feel like women (generally speaking) feel the need to embrace the power that these high positions hold, and prove themselves in a mans world.  I do not mean that in a sexist way!  Women run households, keep track of everyones schedules, run corporations, and have amazing abilities as leaders.  I hear many a men say that their wives tell them what they need to do, where to go, what to wear.  And I don't doubt that for a second.  "The man is the head of the household, but the woman is the neck, and can turn the head any way she wants"  I think that is so true.  I think that often times, God speaks to men through their wives.  But we as women need to be willing to submit ourselves to our husbands, just as The Bible says.  And through that we will be blessed, as will our husbands, and households and children.

So, what is my point?  Embrace who you are as a woman.  Don't try to measure up to men or to be like them.  Not because you won't ever get there (which you won't).  But there is just no comparison!  Men and women were created to be completely different.  We were created for different purposes--to fulfill different roles on this earth.  And when women try to take on roles which men were created for, it not only destroys her femininity, it also confuses men.  (But that is a whole other topic that I won't get into right now.)  What man would want to marry a women who acts like, or looks like a man?  No man that I know.

Women were created to be nurturing, soft, beautiful, caretakers, and master planners.  Men were created to be the hunters, providers, warriors, protectors.  We are meant to compliment each other, not to compete.

So...can you guess how I feel about women in the military?  I probably shouldn't go into it, so I won't.

My second stab at femininity

I think there are 2 common misconceptions about women, (which we lay upon ourselves). First, that we aren't good enough or can't ever measure up (to who?? other women of course), and secondly in order to get anywhere in life (particularly professionally)--we have to give up the things that are important to us (namely our families).

I know I can't convince you by simply telling you that you don't NEED to measure up--but what else can I do? You're reading a blog, written by me, and I can't convince you of anything you don't already believe. But--I am here to tell you, that you were made intentionally, by God the Father. If you're thinking that isn't comforting at all--it's time for you to take stock in the amazing things that make you, you. Maybe you have beautiful hair, or eyes. Maybe you can sing, maybe you are good with babies, maybe you take care of a loved one, maybe you are a great student or athlete or teacher. Everyone has things that make them unique and beautiful. If you can't (or don't want to) identify them in yourself, ask a girlfriend, or your mother, or another woman that you know to help you out. Yes...it will be a little awkward. Yes, you're probably going to be embarrassed...but I can assure you that it will be an invaluable exercise. If you can't bring yourself to ask another woman, ask God to start to reveal the things that make you beautiful and unique. And guess what, He will.

We are our own worst critics, and we are awful about critiquing each other... Well...we assume that we are awful about critiquing each other anyway... Don't we always think that when we walk into a room that every other woman is sizing us up? Don't we always think that there is no way we are as pretty as that woman standing over there-only to have the thought change to--"I could never wear that dress/shoes/hairstyle/makeup" (whatever it might be)? Well--let me put this twist on it. Whenever we walk into a room, who are we thinking about? Ourselves! Think about it. We are always concerned what everyone else thinks about us. So....therefore, what do you think everyone else is thinking? Not about you!!! So, I hope that takes some pressure off--if it doesn't, go back and reread this. We worry about ourselves. And I don't mean that in a selfish way. But it is the truth.

My second point, is that we are often forced to give up the things that we really believe in, in order to be anything in this world. As women, we are told that we have to make a choice. Family, or career. You can't have both. Now...depending on the career you choose, that could be true. You do have a choice in the matter you know. And I'm not knocking anyone for choosing a career. That is your choice. There are choices in careers though, that will also allow you to spend a significant amount of time with your family (for example Mary Kay...and other home based businesses too). Most of them won't bring in gobs of money, but they are out there. And the majority of women feel incredibly guilty about going to work, while they're kids sit in daycare anyway. And I cannot tell you how many times I hear that one of the parents incomes (usually the wifes) is just paying for the daycare anyway...so what is the point? If you are one of those women, it might be time to re-visit why it is you are working. Is it because of the money? I already said there are other jobs out there that will allow you more time with your family. Is it because you feel like you are identifying yourself through a job? If so, I have the same answer. There are jobs out there which will allow you time with your family. And for the record--neither of those reasons for having a job/career are bad! They are great reasons to have a job! You need something outside of the house, something else to focus on. You just have to make the choice, how do you want to order your life? What is the most important thing? I cannot answer that question for you.

So--this brings me into my next train of thought, which is women in high powered careers (I'm thinking specifically of Hillary Clinton, and will use her as an example) but I'm not going to write about it tonight. I have lots to say about this. :) So I'll save it for another day and another post.

My first stab at femininity

So, I mentioned before that one of the big topics for me is femininity.  

I realize this can be a hot topic for a lot of people.  But I hope that you'll give me a chance before you blow me off.  Just consider what I have to say about it.

What is the first thing you think of when I say the word 'femininity'?  Do you think of a 1950's housewife, in the kitchen cooking the perfect dinner?  Do you think of that pair of high heeled shoes that you either own or would love to own?  Do you think of your makeup bag?  Whatever it is that you picture, I would like to share my thoughts on femininity.

I mentioned before that I am a Mary Kay consultant.  It is easy to see where being feminine fits into that world isn't it?  Everything is pink (in fact we call it our 'pink bubble'), we are selling cosmetics after all, and the majority of the company is made up of women.  This is a company which truly understands what the most important things in a woman's life are.  God, Family, and Career.  Not only do they understand that, but they expect every woman in the company to order her life that way.   God first, Family second, Career third.  I don't know what you think, but that blew me away.  This company embraces family so closely, that it is still a privately owned family company even!  This company encourages women to think like women, to do business like women, to lift each other up like women naturally do.  Wait a minute--women lift each other up?  They do!  I know it doesn't always seem that way...but women naturally want to help each other, and befriend each other. The world may not always encourage that, but this company does.  You actually will not succeed in this company unless you help the women around you.  I love that.

What I haven't mentioned is that my full time job is selling Power Tools.  Power Tools?  What?  What is feminine about that?  Well, honestly, not much.  I'd say that 99% of the business I am in is male dominated...obviously.  As a woman in this business, there are times that I have to 'prove' my knowledge.  I have to prove that I know what I'm talking about.  I have to prove that I am knowledgeable about the tools that I sell.  And it isn't always easy.  There are times (though it is rare) when the man on the other side of the phone, asks to speak to a male before he even gives me a chance.  Like I said, it is rare.  It maybe happens twice a year.  Maybe.  When that happens, it isn't worth the argument, and I transfer them off to one of my coworkers.  But most of the time, the man on the other end of the phone is very receptive to me.  Especially once they realize that I really do know what I'm talking about.  What is my point?  Well, even through selling power tools, and speaking knowledgeably, I remain obviously female.  I am not talking just about the sound of my voice (which obviously I cannot change), I am talking about the way that I speak, the phrases I use, the way I converse.  I am not willing to 'become a man' and jeopardize myself as a woman in order to survive in this job.  It isn't necessary first of all.  My customers expect me to answer when they call, and they even ask for me if I don't answer the phone.  Am I proud of that?  Absolutely.  Did I have to work hard to gain that respect?  Very.  But did I loose my femininity in the process?  Nope.  Most of them even know that I sell Mary Kay too.  They think it is fantastic.  Yes, most of the time I wear boots and jeans to work--on the off chance that I'm going to have to give a tool demo to a walk-in customer, but I wear makeup everyday (even though most of my business is on the phone), I wear pink shirts (and shoes!), I look like a girl everyday!  I actually really love being feminine in a male world.  It took some getting used to...but I really love it.

I am going to end this post for the moment (hopefully I'll get to at least one more tonight) but I am nowhere near done on this topic.  I just think I should break it up into smaller pieces, rather than make a whole long one.  :)