Thursday, March 13, 2008
My second stab at femininity
I think there are 2 common misconceptions about women, (which we lay upon ourselves). First, that we aren't good enough or can't ever measure up (to who?? other women of course), and secondly in order to get anywhere in life (particularly professionally)--we have to give up the things that are important to us (namely our families).
I know I can't convince you by simply telling you that you don't NEED to measure up--but what else can I do? You're reading a blog, written by me, and I can't convince you of anything you don't already believe. But--I am here to tell you, that you were made intentionally, by God the Father. If you're thinking that isn't comforting at all--it's time for you to take stock in the amazing things that make you, you. Maybe you have beautiful hair, or eyes. Maybe you can sing, maybe you are good with babies, maybe you take care of a loved one, maybe you are a great student or athlete or teacher. Everyone has things that make them unique and beautiful. If you can't (or don't want to) identify them in yourself, ask a girlfriend, or your mother, or another woman that you know to help you out. Yes...it will be a little awkward. Yes, you're probably going to be embarrassed...but I can assure you that it will be an invaluable exercise. If you can't bring yourself to ask another woman, ask God to start to reveal the things that make you beautiful and unique. And guess what, He will.
We are our own worst critics, and we are awful about critiquing each other... Well...we assume that we are awful about critiquing each other anyway... Don't we always think that when we walk into a room that every other woman is sizing us up? Don't we always think that there is no way we are as pretty as that woman standing over there-only to have the thought change to--"I could never wear that dress/shoes/hairstyle/makeup" (whatever it might be)? Well--let me put this twist on it. Whenever we walk into a room, who are we thinking about? Ourselves! Think about it. We are always concerned what everyone else thinks about us. So....therefore, what do you think everyone else is thinking? Not about you!!! So, I hope that takes some pressure off--if it doesn't, go back and reread this. We worry about ourselves. And I don't mean that in a selfish way. But it is the truth.
My second point, is that we are often forced to give up the things that we really believe in, in order to be anything in this world. As women, we are told that we have to make a choice. Family, or career. You can't have both. Now...depending on the career you choose, that could be true. You do have a choice in the matter you know. And I'm not knocking anyone for choosing a career. That is your choice. There are choices in careers though, that will also allow you to spend a significant amount of time with your family (for example Mary Kay...and other home based businesses too). Most of them won't bring in gobs of money, but they are out there. And the majority of women feel incredibly guilty about going to work, while they're kids sit in daycare anyway. And I cannot tell you how many times I hear that one of the parents incomes (usually the wifes) is just paying for the daycare anyway...so what is the point? If you are one of those women, it might be time to re-visit why it is you are working. Is it because of the money? I already said there are other jobs out there that will allow you more time with your family. Is it because you feel like you are identifying yourself through a job? If so, I have the same answer. There are jobs out there which will allow you time with your family. And for the record--neither of those reasons for having a job/career are bad! They are great reasons to have a job! You need something outside of the house, something else to focus on. You just have to make the choice, how do you want to order your life? What is the most important thing? I cannot answer that question for you.
So--this brings me into my next train of thought, which is women in high powered careers (I'm thinking specifically of Hillary Clinton, and will use her as an example) but I'm not going to write about it tonight. I have lots to say about this. :) So I'll save it for another day and another post.